I read the Tea Party mission statement the other day and discovered that I agree with them on many of the 15 items they list as “nonnegotiable.” Here are the 15 items and my response to them:
- Illegal aliens are here illegally.
Yep. That’s true. But the problem would be solved if Congress passed legislation giving them a path to citizenship.
- Pro-domestic employment is indispensable.
Also true. We don’t want or need global trade agreements that result in the loss of millions of American jobs.
- A strong military is essential.
Another point of agreement. I’m a veteran I believe in a strong defense, but, proportionate to population, the United States now has the largest military force in the world, and we own nearly half of all the world’s nuclear forces. I’d say we can probably downsize a bit.
- Gun ownership is sacred.
C’mon, now. The Bible doesn’t say anything about any weapon being “sacred.” I have nothing against guns or the sportsmen who use them, but they aren’t holy, blessed, consecrated, etc.
- Deficit spending must end.
This is a stupid idea. Deficit spending created the Middle Class and got us out of the Great Depression.
- Bailout and stimulus plans are illegal.
They can’t be illegal. None of the bankers who misused bailout and stimulus funds have been sent to jail.
- Reducing personal income taxes is a must.
This is only half right. Taxes should be lowered for 99 percent of taxpayers, and increased for one percent, which pays more for bad habits that the rest of us pay for our mortgages.
- Reducing business income taxes is a must.
This would be okay, perhaps, if we could eliminate all the subsidies to the oil and gas industry, the agricultural industry, and even some of the retail industry—Walmart, for example–which gets indirect government subsidies for employees on food stamps and other welfare programs. Moreover, some corporations pay no income tax.
- Political offices must be available to average citizens.
You guys are lousy examples. You won’t run in competitive districts where you’d get your butts beat in a general election, and you sell your souls to the Citizens United crowd for campaign funds.
- Intrusive government must be stopped.
Yeah. I’d agree, but you Tea Party stalwarts are hypocrites. The politicians you support continually stick their noses into labor-management relations by pushing anti-worker right-to-work legislation. And, wow, talk about intrusive government. What you guys want to do to women should, by all standards, be considered criminal.
- English as our core language is required.
English is our core language. Another Tea Party example of putting its nose where it doesn’t belong.
- Traditional family values are encouraged.
Hooray, another point of agreement, except my family values might be somewhat different than yours, but that’s okay—as long as you don’t try to tell me what mine ought to be. It’s none of your business.
See, voila, we can compromise.
Ain’t America great?